by Kenden Alfond and Charles Vincent

We know that we have been out of touch the last couple of months - no, our coaching schedule has not been on “vacation” but rather full AND we have been designing our new website. (We cannot wait to share it with you!).

I (Kenden) have been continuing my work with clients who feel confused and/or stuck professionally and are at their emotional edge.  My clients want a safe environment to do a turnaround - professional clarity, more emotional balance and courage to go after what they really want.

I (Charles) have been busy on three fronts.  Some of my clients are re-orienting their career, focusing on what they want, applying for job vacancies hence wanting and needing to edit their CVs and cover letters, and wishing to do mock competency based interviews.  Other clients are managers who want to increase their people skills and/or their personal productivity, and that of their teams.

During this last month, one of our clients shared her “F-list” with us and we had to share it with you.

This client working in the UN has become so used to spending her days pleasing others that it has been a hard sell to get her to focus on herself – to be on her own team.  (Here I am talking about “effective selfishness,” not transforming into an ego maniac).

How do I know this?  She told me point blank that it is easier to focus on doing a great job for others than to focus on herself.

Do you ever feel like your work is training you to become more attuned to your supervisor’s needs and/or your organizational goals than to your own? 

That could be considered “the price-to-pay” unless the focus becomes so compulsive that “who you are” and your values seem to get “erased” from the picture.

To help herself rejuvenate, she came up with her “F-list”. 

This list captures her daily and weekly personal MUSTs (i.e. the things that she needs to do on a daily/weekly basis to stay on her own team). 

She wrote:

Fresh air – I need time in fresh air every day (i.e. walk or run);  

Fitness - Every day I will fit some fitness activity, this is like therapy for me;

Food – I will be conscious about the food I put into my body, I will make effort to cook my own food 3 times during the week;

Future –I will make one BIG effort every week towards creating the professional future I want (1 job application, 1 networking event, etc.);

Friends – I will talk to a friend (in my inner circle) at least once a day;

Finish – I will complete lingering work commitments (reports, emails, phone calls, etc) which are burdening me;


If you read this blog, you care about yourself.  What is your list? It does not have to be F’s!

PS We are launching our new website in the coming weeks – stay tuned..